2013 BlogsHow do you cope when it’s hard to cope? – 30 July 2013
Coping is all about your response to what’s happening in your life and the way you react and behave as a result.
Of course there are extreme circumstances where you would expect most individuals’ reactions and behaviours to be adversely affected by the radical situations they experience. However on many occasions people can crumble when demands are not excessively high.
Coping is not determined so much by your reality of the situation but rather your perception of the reality. Your translation can either empower you or make you disintegrate. If you wish to cope better then you need to feel and be more resourceful. A resourceful person is a stronger person.
The definition for stress that we have created at our personal development education centre, TAG Academy, is that it occurs when we have too few resources to meet our demands.
Resource building is therefore a major factor in increasing your ability to cope.
So what are personal resources?
They are many and varied but here is a list of some.
Health and mobility
Adequate rest and sleep
Structured realistic goals
Support Systems – Family, Friends and Colleagues
Ability and capability
Some of these may not be currently accessible in your life but many can be gained simply through your own efforts or developing your outlooks. For instance, most of you will have control over your own time management, exercise regime, nutrition, getting adequate rest, finding role models to follow, setting goals, pursuing a spiritual path that suits you, making efforts to learn managing emotional control, increasing your sphere of knowledge and capability. As you increase these resources many of the others, which are not so immediately present, will follow.
If you take a little time over the coming weeks to build up your resources, then when the less good times come, which they will, you will reap dividends in your coping abilities together with a resultant improved quality of life.
"1 in 5’ children suffer from symptoms of depression – 5 July 2013
BBC News has reported a finding that ‘1 in 5’ children suffer from symptoms of depression http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-23192252
However it's important to distinguish between depression where you are going through a period of just feeling low versus clinical depression where the actual functioning of the brain chemistry gives rise to the condition.
The former can benefit from the advice given on creating healthier lifestyle options but clinical depression needs to be diagnosed by a doctor who will often give relevant medication. Usually deep clinical depression will not be totally resolved by simply adopting a healthier life style, although doing this should certain assist things.
Both forms are known to benefit from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which challenges many of the outlooks that lead to and maintain depression. As such this approach can be very effective in resolving it. In fact the National Health, through NICE, promote CBT as one of the main interventions for depression.
Also one of the interesting things about exercise and why it helps is that it produces endorphins. Endorphins do a number of things, they reduce pain by being a natural opiate, therefore as a result of their opioid properties they also produce a sense of wellbeing. An additional function of endorphins is that they mop up the stress hormones produced in our body that can arise in depression.
Another useful tip I give to my clients who are depressed is to try to become more externally focused on other things in life. Depression is self-consuming where the sufferer is often very inwardly aware of themselves, how they feel and the state of their lives in general. If you put energy and effort into the world around you instead of yourself then it can help to pull away from the internal dialogue and feelings that feed the depression.
Finally having a goal in life gives people purpose. Many who are depressed feel a sense of hopelessness. If so, set up some goals or targets you would like to achieve and set out to do so.
Have you seen "Trance" - a movie with hypnosis as a central theme? – 9 April 2013
Wow! I've been using hypnosis, or hypnotherapy, professionally for 22 years and I've never been introduced to so many new 'cast in stone' statements or facts about it. The 3 main ones presented in the Trance movie are:
TRANCE MOVIE FACT: Only 5% of the population can achieve ultra-deep trance.
MY EXPERIENCE: I find that only about 2% of my clients can initially do so but many more than 5% can achieve it with practice. It is said that in cultures less exposed to modern society, 50% or more can attain a deep trance.
TRANCE MOVIE FACT: Hypnosis can be used to retrieve forgotten memories.
MY EXPERIENCE: Certain hypnotic approaches can be used to jog a memory but so can many other non-hypnotic processes do this. However if something hasn't been properly stored in the brain, then it cannot be retrieved. Interestingly, the use of hypnotically retrieved information does not stand up in a court of law in the UK, as it is known we can create false memories - ie we create and believe something to be true when it isn't.
TRANCE MOVIE FACT: Hypnosis can be used to completely erase a memory.
MY EXPERIENCE: Memories are never static. They are constantly being remodelled as we reassess them and input new information or viewpoints in the process. Therefore unless you completely wipe out the entire brain function, as in a permanent vegetative state, there are always many aspects of a memory stored in different parts of the brain and you cannot eliminate all of these. The movie works on the traditional premise that hypnosis is a 'state'. There are many professionals in the various different fields of mindwork who now believe hypnosis is 'non-state' due to the fact that we don't need to be in a state to do things such as control our mind, switch signals from our brain on or off, or let ourselves be influenced. Influence can also come about or be pushed onto us through fear or terror.
There are of course many mysteries yet to be unravelled, especially with regard to the inner mind and reality but the world can often be less mysterious than we think.
Having said all this, Trance is a movie and is provided for entertainment. That it certainly does. It is well acted and fairly fast paced with several layers interwoven into the plot. Overall I managed to throw the distorted hypnosis facts to one side and enjoyed it.
Are you suffering from nerves? Do you want to cure it like Dido using hypnotherapy to stop stage fright? – 25 February 2013
This is such a common problem and yet so many of us who have it don’t realise it can be easily resolved. Also it’s not something that just affects performers like Dido but can impact everyday people in many other ways. Giving presentations at work, a speech at a wedding or some other occasion, speaking up in class at school, also conversing while out with a group of colleagues or friends and even sexual functioning. All of these are just some of the examples where being the focus of attention, or feeling you are ‘under the spotlight’, impacts on your natural ability to be able to function properly in those situations.
However you don’t have to continue like this. Just as Dido managed to find a solution to stage fright through hypnotherapy, so too can you overcome your anxiety through a similar route, or indeed via a selection of other effective therapeutic interventions.
What happens in these situations is that for one reason or another (sometimes a previous uncomfortable experience) your mind makes too big a deal about what you are trying to do and the consequences that can arise out of it. This overdramatisation puts undue pressure on the situation where your fight or flight response inappropriately kicks in and completely interferes with what should be an achievable task. Learning to rewire the way you think and respond within this setting will bring back control and capability.
Different people may take to one type of support intervention better than another approach, but usually everybody can find some way that will help them. I use either hypnotherapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) as various different ways to help you overcome nervousness or performance anxiety. Normally one of these will be right for you and allow you to free yourself from your condition.
So don’t feel you have to put up with this situation. Wherever you are or live, there will be a suitable professional close by who will be able to work with you to resolve things. If you have any type of performance anxiety or undue nervousness and are in London, particularly Central London or North London, then please feel free to contact me and I’ll happily work with you at The Hale Clinic, or my clinic in Finchley, to help permanently eradicate it.
Danny Boyle’s upcoming film ‘Trance’ starring James McAvoy uses hypnosis to uncover stolen art – 11 February 2013
Trance is due to be released on 27 March 2013 in the UK and on April 5 in the USA. It stars James McAvoy, Rosario Dawson and Vincent Cassell. Oscar winning Slumdog Millionaire director, Danny Boyle, took breaks from his opening ceremony direction of the London 2012 Olympics to fit in this movie.
The storyline involves Simon (James McAvoy), a fine art auctioneer, who gets involved with a criminal gang to steal a Goya painting worth millions of dollars. During the heist he suffers a blow to the head and when he awakens he has absolutely no memory of where he hid the painting. After various physical threats and tortures prove ineffective in revealing the answer, the gang’s leader Franck (Vincent Cassel) hires hypnotherapist Elizabeth Lamb (Rosario Dawson) to delve into the darkest recesses of Simon’s psyche. As Elizabeth begins to unravel Simon’s broken subconscious, the boundaries between desire, truth, hypnotic suggestion and deceit begin to blur and the stakes rise faster than anyone could have anticipated.
This movie will prove interesting for those hypnotherapists, like me, who work with the inner mind and have various professional opinions on the true ability or authenticity of using hypnosis to recover memories. Many will be jumping on the bandwagon once the film arrives to discuss real world inaccuracies and dangers of what is portrayed. And within all this I can guarantee that for every statement that propounds one school of thought, there will also be equally strong and ‘conclusively’ stated ones advocating the exact opposite.
Can hypnosis actually recover memories? If so, are they accurate? Should hypnosis be used to recover them? Does hypnosis increase the chances of false memory syndrome? These are just some of the questions that will be returning to debating arena once the film is aired.
Whatever your views, remember this is only a movie and Danny Boyle’s main intention is to provide entertainment. I for one shall probably enjoy it. In the meantime if you want to watch the official trailer for Trance, you can access it through this link.
My Response to Richard Branson's Blog on "Why it's OK to Ask for Help in Business" – 1 February 2013
Richard Branson did a blog yesterday on why it's OK to ask for help in business - see this link. I made the comments below regarding this and also posted them on Facebook, so I would be interested in anyone else's views on successful ways of obtaining business support, especially as many of you out there are running your own companies.
Whilst I've been running my therapy and mindset coaching venture for over 20 years, I've upscaled it considerably since 2010 and now face the inevitable new challenges arising from this change in order to ensure it becomes successful in its current structure. I am trying to move away from the previous limitations of my 'sole trader' ways of thinking and promoting my business. It's a long haul and I'm slowly getting there but much more still needs to be done.
As I face the new problems that are part of this journey, the resources I am currently accessing to solve them are:
- Existing colleague contacts within my field
- Successful role models and how they got around obstacles
- My clients – I can learn a lot from them!
- My competition – especially those that are successful
- Information from relevant books and from the web
As I am still on my way towards achieving my targets, I've yet to learn much more and wouldn't know what all the best golden rules are when asking for a helping hand. However I assume one of the main ones would be demonstrating a real passion for what you do and a willingness to put in all the necessary effort to carry out any effective coaching or advice suggestions.
I don't think people would be too inclined to help or support if they thought they were being used as a free ride without any effort from the person looking for advice. So just saying to someone "Help me" is probably not the best way to go about it.
I'd imagine it would be better to have a well-considered plan for going forward, find someone you are able to approach who also shares an interest in what you do, and then say, "What are your views on this?" At least the person thinking about giving you a helping hand can see you've put something into the equation and that you're more likely to make good use of any support or advice they give you.
I believe successful people do actually like passing on the benefit of their knowledge because it's part of and complementary to their accomplishments. But they are generally busy people and want to maximise the effectiveness of their guidance, so would tend to only help those who they felt would give them returns for their time and experience.
Make Your Mind Work for You… Instead of Against You - 23 January 2013
Here’s an interesting article on how you can help bring the things you want into your life.
It’s regarding a book “Make Your Mind Work for You… Instead of Against You” by Adele Tartaglia, which is about using the Law of Attraction in a positive way, instead of a negative way. Adele argues:
"Removing the seventy-five percent negative programming from your subconscious mind is the easiest, most immediate and permanent way to achieve long term constructive change in your life. Now it can be done in minutes instead of years of talk therapy which further imprints and traumatizes you.
Philosophy and science tell us that the mind of the observer is responsible for the outcomes of physical phenomena we observe as real time events.
This basic premise, known and practiced by man for centuries, is that consciousness is creating everything you experience as your reality. The ancients’ secret wisdom involved rituals to get into a mindset producing the same emotional responses as though they had already manifested what they needed as a culture. Braden has called it the lost mode of prayer.
Essentially, ceremonies to produce a subtle shift in attitude created altered states of thoughts and emotions that vibrated to the same frequency as the desired event thus manifesting it.
Today this principle has been popularized as the Law of Attraction where we teach people how to do this for themselves individually. We no longer need the rituals since the consciousness of mankind has been shifted so powerfully that most people can slip into an altered state such as theta fairly easily in which the subconscious mind can be accessed and altered on the spot.
Philosophical and religious organizations described it my many names such as St Paul’s “….be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind,” and New Thought churches’ Transcendentalist philosophy, the Law of Mind Action; the mind of man creates after itself…in like kind. Like attracts like.
This quantum factor, the ability of the human mind to manifest reality, answers the age old question “Why Is This Happening to Me…Again?” Repetitive life patterns will continue until you delete the program that is creating them from your consciousness. Changing partners or jobs will never stop the progression of experiencing the same thing over and over again.
That’s because the events, behaviors, and people that make up your life have nothing to do with anything outside you. No one is doing anything to you or making you feel any particular way. The circumstances you find yourself in are the outpicturing of unconscious content you often don’t realize you have because it was not installed in your mind by you.
Most of the programs in your subconscious mind are intergenerational DNA and modeling from your family, socialization, and mass consciousness beliefs being propounded daily through spoken and written media and through psychic resonance. You had no choice during the imprint years from gestation through six what beliefs, biases, and behaviors were integrated into your dual mind.
Such mental concepts as your frames of reference, precepts, belief systems, memories, traumas, fears, conditioning, adaptations, and conceptualizations are held in the unconscious. When stimulated, they trigger automatic reactions to life situations based on stored memories.
Often these reactions are antithetical to what you are trying to achieve in life. They block your goal fulfillment in areas such as mental stability, relationships, happiness, success, health, and prosperity.
The subconscious mind being the largest part of your mind is a million times more powerful in its ability to create and attract things than the conscious mind. It is this part of the mind that interfaces with the Universal laws of causality.
We all know we consciously intend and want only good things to take place in our lives, but they don’t. That’s because the conscious mind does not interact with the Law of Attraction so you can do copious affirmations and the chance of changing the outcomes you experience remains random and slight.
Contrarily, by changing the content of your unconscious mind, you see an immediately shift in reality since it is these programs unknown to you that are sending out frequencies which the universe returns with events that match the vibrations it received from your own unconscious mind. Negative beliefs produce negative events. It’s that simple.
Your hidden psychological programming has to be deleted and restructured in order to create different results in your life by creating a different consciousness within you.
Fortunately you can restructure your multi-leveled mind instantly giving you instant relief from life long issues. With today’s advanced technology you can easily erase and replace....beliefs, behaviors, traits, emotions, expectations, memories, traumas, coping mechanisms and identities that are sabotaging your life.
Everyone can be happy, peaceful, successful, and purposeful.
This new lease on life can be achieved using mental, emotional, physical, and behavioral modification tools to instantly reformat the subconscious mind and align it with conscious mind goals.
Since the body mind system is one inseparable organism, when we change the mental and emotional substance our minds, the body experiences miraculous healings since it is cellular memory that stores our past and its fears based on our traumas and painful experiences as blocked energy. This is why we call Integrative Therapy body mind healing.
This restructuring therapy using theta healing in consciousness is a new modality that gives you control of your mind, your emotions, and your behaviors for the first time in your life.
Only the mind is programmed and needs to be deprogrammed. The Authentic Soul Self, before the programming, remains intact and cognizant it was made in the Image with a divine essence of love.
Upon maturity it becomes your responsibility to change any mental constructs that are not serving you, your family, or the family of mankind so you don’t continue to propagate mass conscious beliefs that are destructive to the welfare of the planet and her creatures."
Five Steps to Mental Wellbeing – 14 January 2013
The National Health Service in the UK has advocated the following measures to maintain emotional health. They have stated there is evidence that demonstrates Five Steps individuals can take to promote mental wellbeing.
Their suggestion is to approach them with an open mind and try them yourself so you can judge the results from a personal perspective.
The following list from the NHS website outlines each of the steps:
- Connect. Connect with the people around you: your family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. Spend time developing these relationships. Find out more in Connect for mental wellbeing
- Be active. You don't have to go to the gym. Take a walk, go cycling or play a game of football. Find the activity that you enjoy, and make it a part of your life. Learn more in Get active for mental wellbeing
- Keep learning. Learning new skills can give you a sense of achievement and a new confidence. So why not sign up for that cooking course, start learning to play a musical instrument, or figure out how to fix your bike? Find out more in Learn for mental wellbeing
- Give to others. Even the smallest act can count, whether it's a smile, a thank you or a kind word. Larger acts, such as volunteering at your local community centre, can improve your mental wellbeing and help you build new social networks. Learn more in Give for mental wellbeing
- Take notice. Be more aware of the present moment, including your feelings and thoughts, your body and the world around you. Some people call this awareness “mindfulness”, and it can positively change the way you feel about life and how you approach challenges. Find out more in Awareness for mental wellbeing
One of the major focuses for many of you at the beginning of each year is weight loss. The answer is seemingly so simple and it appears almost all of you know what you need to do to achieve it – eat and drink the right amount and type of food while undertaking sufficient appropriate exercise to ensure you burn off more calories than you consume. That’s it! Such an easy route to success, so what’s the difficulty in you achieving it?
I believe the answer is usually mindset. The wrong mindset can make the simplest of things difficult. The right mindset can make the hardest of things easy, which is what I research and provide at Mindset Synergy.
Yet as offered above, the route to weight loss is actually simple, not hard. You don’t have to run 100 metres in under 10 seconds to achieve it, nor do you have to climb Mount Everest or learn to juggle seven balls in the air at once. You don’t have to do anything difficult like this. You just need to eat properly and be adequately active, something that most of you are completely capable of doing. What’s more the activity part doesn’t necessarily mean pounding away in the gym. There are many things you can do that you already incorporate into your life, you just need to enjoy doing them a little bit more.
It is not demanding in reality, yet many of you make it so by living with an unhelpful mindset that creates all sorts of weird translations and inner statements that aren’t even true, even though you allow them to be. In fact if a friend of yours came up with these translations and statements, you would probably recognise them as total fallacies and see them for what they really are!
So if the right mindset can make the hardest of things easy, then how effective will it be for you in making something that is already simple easy? Incredibly effective I would suggest and this is borne out by my clients at Mindset Synergy.
Hypnosis and similar mind enhancing techniques have been demonstrated in scientific studies to increase mentality to help us achieve many goals such as stopping smoking to sport performance and all sorts of things in between.
Hypno Gastric Band intervention for weight control has gained much popularity over the recent years as a powerful and effective therapy to lose weight. In fact well known UK hypnotherapist Paul McKenna has highlighted this in a British tabloid newspaper today, the Sun – McKenna: Let me make you thin with my gas-trick band http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/4729607/Paul-McKenna-Let-me-make-you-thin-with-gas-trick-band.html#ixzz2HJARLM1l
The idea behind Hypno Gastric Band is that clients imagine in their minds, through hypnosis, that they have undergone a gastric band operation and this imagination is developed further so they react in the same way as they would with a real gastric band when reaching the assumed limits of a full stomach – ie the stomach shrunk by the supposed gastric band gets uncomfortable and wants to stop eating much earlier than a normal un-banded stomach.
This is one, but by no means the only one, of many similar weight control approaches that I use at Mindset Synergy, which can bring you excellent results through honing mindset in a positive way. Hypnotherapy can be even more powerful when you use it in conjunction with NLP, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and EMDR, as I do.
If you wish to make use of the power of your mind for weight control to become the shape you want to be, or indeed anything else, then check out any number of reputable hypnotherapists in your area. Alternatively if you want to work with me to achieve your aims but are far away from London, or even on the other side of the world, then we can still achieve success through Skype.